Slumming It in Dorset again, Wimborne Town 3 v 1 Mangotsfield United

That plant-pot could do with some attention.

27/04/13, Southern League South and West Division. The Cuthbury

So the season is drawing to a close, Leeds United are safe, time for a combined Dorset football and walking weekend. The destination is Wimborne Minster, home of Wimborne Town who were playing an end of season dead rubber against Bristol based Mangotsfield United (frankly if I wasn’t staying with a mate and walking the next day I probably wouldn’t have chosen this game). The consequences of the Beeching cuts mean I get off at Bournemouth to catch a bus to Wimborne. Now in a rational world the bus would go straight down the Wimborne Road and take 20 minutes but no that would mean missing the delights of Windon, Moordown and the never ending delights of Ferndown and taking nearly an hour!

Having eventually got to Wimborne Square I headed towards The Cuthbury, somewhat annoyed as the path disappears on the last road (and a lengthy traffic light system is in play at the moment). The first sight of the ground is in fact of the clubhouse, which is compact but neat and at least does hand pull real ale (Piddle April Showers).

Having paid a £1 for a programme in the club-house and then £9 in (not a bad combo really) I enter the ground to note the pitch slopes down from “main-stand” to dug-out side, I also notice from the players kick-about that it is dusty, almost a miracle given the winter and spring we have had! The ground is a bit hiddley piddley, the “main-stand” side is in fact three covered areas, a bench seating area, a directors area with the only proper seats in the place and then a standing area. All three areas don’t go back very far. Behind one goal is a covered area, behind the other goal is just a fence to protect the cottage hospital behind it and the far side of the ground is open with trees. Their is a 8 pylon system in place and if you raise your head a little some hills can be seen.

The game itself was best described as “end of season”, very little skill on show and not helped by a weather than changed every 5 minutes. Mangotsfield United (MU) had a small chanting support, all mostly friendly, Wimborne Town (WT) more quieter. By half-time the 2-1 scoreline reflected the limitations of this level, the first goal accrued when the MT goalie bailed in a simple shot an then nearly repeated the feat with WT’s second, only this time his blunder hot the post and came out only to be prodded home. MU should ave been three down by HT but the failure of the referee to see a blatant pull-down in front of him, followed 30 seconds later by him giving a penalty at the other end for the worst dive I have seen in years meant MU pulled one back.

A combination of food, the scores from league games as the professional game climaxes its season and my mate texting to say where did I want to be picked up after the game (big thanks to the Moore’s of Wareham for the hospitality) meant I didn’t really focus on the second half where a third WT goal sealed the game. A early departure to the Green Man pub (a kind of friendly locals haunt) allowed me to see the now already infamous Brentford V Doncaster Rovers promotion game details come through and a chance to get in a couple of beers before arrival of the mate (Wareham to Wimborne via Spurn, don’t ask).

This standard of football isn’t really good enough frankly but when you have a reasonably relaxed day that can compensate for a lot of inadequacies. A place to see once if your in that part of the world.

Enjoy the pics below, could be my season over, might not be.

Dust-bowl, honest!

Cavernous.

Where the elite sit…

Same number of OAP turnstiles as for normal aged people…telling.

Just can’t get the recycling bins you need for old bits of the ground…

Slumming It in Socialist Republic of South Yorkshire, Doncaster Rovers 0 v 1 Notts County

Two grounds in one pic.

Saturday 20th April 2013, League 1. The Keepmoat.

Some towns are iconic to your personal mindscape even if you have never once actually lived in them. Doncaster is such a town for me, my mum’s family are from there and I have spasmodic memories of the place from childhood, including “Donny” Rovers old ground Belle Vue. I also, in my “street fighting years” (1979-1987 to anyone who is interested) had a few interesting pre and post game (all not in Doncaster) nights, none of which are worth recalling here. So when I decided early this season to tick the Keepmoat off I didn’t expect to actually enjoy the day, hence why I left it late.
Anyway, train tickets purchased cheaply and a £22 East Stand ticket meant that I was potentially about to attend a promotion party, with Donny top of the league and just needing a win to go up. After an uneventful train up I exited the station for what I realised was the first time in 25 years, apart from a little spruce up of the dodgy high-rises close by the place clearly hadn’t changed! I was greeted by a sight that could have been straight out of 1985, Police talking to a rag-tag bunch of local kids wearing clothes that looked well out of date! First stop the “Tuck Inn Café”, so old school it should be listed, where it might have been roast lamb and trimmings on my plate but the over-riding taste was 1970’s Sunday lunch, cheap though.

One indulgent taxi later (£5) and I arrived at the Doncaster version of “Lakeside”! Having lived near the Essex version once they have nothing, except boring architecture, in common. From the outside the Keepmoat looks like a smaller version of Pride Park so not too bad, to one side is an Athletics stadium (which I understand is a magnet for ground-hoppers when used for football). To the other side is the shopping areas, some greened over slag-heaps (one of which I climbed and got rewarded with a view of Doncaster Racecourse) and, wait for it, a lake….

I purchased a programme which was a Leeds United style £4! The seller stated it was “a souvenir special”, which rankled with me given they hadn’t got promotion yet. Would they have done the same for the last home league game of the season if they were in mid-table and if they had would anyone buy the thing? Programme wasn’t bad, for the £3 normally paid, but hardly top notch.

Once inside the stadium another disappointment, breeze block and uncovered concrete as far as the eye can see (although to be fair the pointing looked ok). Only the occasional advert broke up this dark and dank atmosphere. Rant time: if you are going to run a modern built football stadium take a leaf out of what Brighton have done with the Amex with regard to light, internal fittings and customer service and try and replicate it! Speaking of customer service the refreshment stalls all looked a bit predictable and American Diner for my liking and of course, no proper beer!

After watching the last 10 minutes of Burnley v Cardiff City on tv I headed for my seat. The first thing I noticed is the pitch had been replaced by a beach, the second thing is because this stadium is wrap-around as opposed to distinct stands there was a certain sameness all around the ground. Still I thought it well done and a 1000x better than Belle Vue circa 1976… The seats were plastic red but not uncomfortable and the sightlines good. However the PA system needs some work, constant feedback.

Before kick-off three things stood out, a PA announcer who never shut up and referenced the sponsor of every player while reading out the teams, John Ryan the Chairman being a little previous and asking everyone to stay off the pitch at full-time and a brave walk by a lad called Ben Parkinson as he carried the match ball to the centre-circle hobbling on his two artificial legs on crutches. A big well done to the supporters, including Notts County, for the thunderous and long standing ovation given to the lad.

Another mind-blowing aspect of this ground-hopping (or bucket list as my mate calls it) is how many of Leeds United’s rejects you come across (or to be fair to Neil Sullivan in the Doncaster goal, ex decent pro from a best forgotten era), so today I had Billy “barn-door and banjo” Paynter and Alan Sheehan, both two of the many useless we have signed and disposed of in the last decade, on the pitch in front of me (and only injury prevented County playing the legend of garbage that is Enoch Showamni).

Remember I mentioned the pitch looked like a beach (and I forgot to mention no-one had white-washed the lines thus no-one could see them), well that partly explains what happened next, 90 minutes of long ball, niggle and wild passing, no quality, no finesse, just a constantly moving bundle of large men bungling about. Doncaster Rovers are a tall team, but that is no excuse for the way they kept launching balls at Brown and Paynter expecting them to make something of them (especially given how immobile they both are). Frankly if Doncaster Rovers do go up they will go straight down playing like that! Cotterial is so erratic it is scary, Coppinger was hardly noticed, the back 4 is like looking at tall rooted trees and don’t get me started on the front line! Player-assistant manager Rob Jones is just a useless thug and after getting away with a petulant kick-out gave away the most idiotic of free-kicks and the resultant 25 yard screamer beat Sullivan all ends up. Can’t say Notts County deserved the lead because their play was as retro as Donny but they at least were putting in the effort in a dead-rubber for them.

Half-time brought some minor joy for the Keepmoat faithful as they realised Sheffield United were being royally dumped over (but all that did in reality is hand promotion over to a decent Bournemouth team). It is also worth mentioning that despite this being a game that could have secured promotion for the home team it was not a sell-out.

Second half was similar to the first, now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t as tepid as a Warnock Leeds United game, it had least went relatively quickly, it’s just it wasn’t very productive. Paynter missed two quilt-edged chances and it came as no surprise he was replaced. The cameo moment of the game was when he County goalie, called Spiess, went to collect a loose ball, a Donny player came within 3 foot of him and suddenly he was rolling around like he had been kicked. Blatant cheating but luckily the referee wasn’t fooled (but he didn’t book the goalie either).

As time ticked towards the end I made my way towards the exit, Doncaster Rovers now have a winner talks all final game away at Brentford, it is just a shame we can’t combined the latter’s team with the formers stadium…

Walked back to the station and departed, wonder what Doncaster will look like in 2028….

Some pics below.

Better looking than a slagheap.

What is that bright thing in the sky?

Packed.

East or West which ways is the best?

L1 or championship? Tune in next week.

Slumming It (tangent), Leeds United 2 v 1 Sheffied Wednesday.

Guess you forgot to take photos…?

13/04/13, Championship.

And behold it came to pass, get in a decent manager who isn’t a cretin and you can transform the useless into goal machines and turn an atmosphere of trepidation into one of celebration (always good to beat Yorkshire rivals) in a couple of substitutions. Welcome to the madness of Leeds United Mr Brian McDermott, may it last.

Slumming It in celebration of getting rid of Colin, Charlton Athletic 2 v 1 Leeds United

Now who sang “into the Valley”?

Championship, 06/04/13. Not a tick.

Only as always with all matters Leeds United the celebration was cut short by another insipid performance. Carry on like this and we may yet find ourselves heading to Crawley Town and Shrewsbury Town next season. Charlton were not that much better than us but they at least had youth and organisation to fall back on!

The ones of you lot who come here for ground-hopping must wonder why I bother, and you would be right, but alas the call of the original love is hypnotic and thus Saturday I head to Elland Road for the Yorkshire derby with Sheffield Wednesday, which no doubt will be another joy.

Slumming It in the totalantifootball sense of the word, Ipswich Town 3 v 0 Leeds United

The smile is before kick-off.

31/03/13, Championship. Portman Road (not a new tick).

See the picture, that is my eldest daughter just before he first Leeds United game, she won’t be asking to go to another if she has any sense. She is standing at the barrier that separates the away “family section” (£29 for me, £9 for her but it cost be £27 to get her a LUFC membership card without which you can’t get away tickets). I reference this for a reason, that being when you subject one of your children to the cold that has descended on this country this spring, dragged her all the way from Surrey to Suffolk, forced her to sit quietly whilst you enjoy a quick pint in the Lord Nelson and then her reward is to watch the utter dross that is Neil Warnock’s total anti football, maybe I should have my head tested.

Short version, Leeds dominate a quality free game for the first 30 minutes but can’t score for toffee, Tom Lees gets sent off for a tackle I would call “orange”, Leeds fall apart from that point and concede three goals to an average Ipswich town. Why the “Colin” is still allowed to pretend he still has a purpose I do not know. It is BTW the third season on the trot I have seen a Leeds United red card at Portman Road.

I was an unhappy easter bunny on the way home, but my 9-year-old tells me not to worry because she has a solution: “if the Leeds crowd didn’t swear so much the players would be better”. Bless.

Better than Daddy’s Adnams American IPA…

Slumming It in the South Downs, Lewes 1 v 2 Kingstonian

Now did I find any Harveys?

Saturday 23rd May 2013, Rymans Premier, “The Dripping Pan”.

Any of you who have followed this blog over the last two seasons (hello whoever you are) will recall that about once a season I use a game as a rest stop during a binge session, that was the case for this game. This explains why I forgot to take any photo’s of the ground with my phone and you have to put up with a couple of beer related pic’s instead from the day. My memory of the whole day is hazy but a few snippets survive to justify a small post.

Basically me and some mates were using the day as an excuse to have a early birthday celebration for me. I chose Lewes as my Southern based venue (having a Northern one in a couple of weeks) so a) I could check out their legendary pubs and b) tick the Dripping Pan off. We all met up at Victoria, took a slightly slow train towards Sussex (where half way down we got confirmation the game was on) and arrived to be greeted by a barmy 2-3 degrees (which for the 23rd was almost Spring like). A quick route-march through this gentile and posh looking small town and the pub crawl began. 5 pubs later and £11 paid for entry (and something or other for a programme) I was in the Rooks, the club-house for Lewes, where we came across the remnants of a beer festival, this (an the cold) explains why despite the game having a couple of interesting contentious moments I will hardly refer to it.

The Dripping Pan is a interesting place but another one of those that looks more impressive in photo’s than on a grey rainy cold day. Behind the far goal was a concrete standing area that covered about a quarter of the area, down one side was a grass bank to a walkway at the top and then a stone wall. Behind the other goal was a club-house (old looking on the outside) and a newish covered standing area and then down the other side was the main seating area which was reasonable for the league they are in. A few catering huts were scattered around also. I spotted a few faces in the K’s support I knew, had a chat with the legend that is Phat Phil but predominately just drank beer. Did notice the scarf collection in the club-house and that it was also the first one I have ever been in that didn’t show any scores on the TV, not even BBC1 (in fact saw no sport whatsoever although given how many games were postponed across the country that was hardly a problem)!

K’s scored first, goalie may have been breathed on hence the Rooks complaints on that one. Home team got back into the game and it was won by another goalie related incident at the end (I only know this because I have read the home fans whinges on it and even they admit it was their own defender who clattered him).

So exit to more Lewes pubs, some curry-house I doubt I could find again and then last steam carriage home. I enjoyed my day, think the Dripping Pan ok (surprised they announced a attendance twice what it looked like) and can just about see why its a ground-hopping rite of passage to go to it, however I do resolve that if I ever return to Lewes the town, it has to be on a warm day!

Post match darts venue….

Slumming It in an 80′s flashback, Nuneaton Town 1 v 0 Lincoln City

The most interesting thing in the ground for the first 93 minutes.

Blue Square Premier, 16/03/13. “Liberty Way”£14 in, £2.50 programme.

Nearly a week after the game and I finally get around to posting. Since the day you will have seen lots of reports of the aggro than engulfed the centre of Nuneaton before the game (which I missed by instead heading to a suburban pub somewhere to the South of the Ground with my family), you get conflicting reports on who was responsible for this trouble, apparently it stems from a 2010 FA Cup tie, but all I can say is the relatively mild skirmish after the game was started by Imps fans.

The ground is a curates egg of recent development, unfinished board rooms and rugby club style bareness. I neither liked it or hated it, it was just what is was, adequate for Blue Square North but not really for Blue Square Premier.

The game was dire, Nuneaton played “nice football” that wasn’t effective, Lincoln played retro hoofball was was even less effective. I waited 93 minutes for a decent shot on target, that was the only goal.

A minor aside, I have never been to a ground before that is so anal about when it was prepared to open its gates to allow exit. For some reason the stewards had to be told to do it at FT and even then they seemed reluctant, I did wonder if I had to pay to get out, they should have said I would have gladly given them £50 after 15 minutes!!

Anyway, enough of this poor game. Some pics below.

g Liberate me from relegation fonder football.

Main stand, no honest…

Rugby Club side

View from the cold side…